Because life has a funny side too

I've often been asked to share my funniest stories around my disability. See, here's the thing, I am HIGHLY sarcastic. I feel as society gets more ignorant, my natural survival instinct is to turn to sarcasm. So often this can lead to some pretty funny situations around my disability. Other stories arise from my job, my hobbies and many more. Here are my top 3:

STORY 1

(person calls something to me from across the room)
Me: "huh?"
(person repeats themselves)
Me: "Sorry?"
 (person now getting really frustrated)
"OH MY WORD ARE YOU DEAF OR SOMETHING?"
...
...
...
Me: "Well you see... yeah. I am"
(Awkward silence)

STORY 2

Some of you may know that I studied a degree in Drama and Perfomance studies which included lots of stage time as an actress. In a play I was in, one of the scenes involved my co-actor grabbing my head and throwing me to the floor (Greek tragedy thing, don't ask). During one of our performances, he grabbed me and as he did, my hearing aid popped out. Now I'm a pretty seasoned performer, so I didn't break character but in my head I'm thinking "OMG OMG what am I going to do, how am I going to hear my cues, what if he stands on it, that R15000!". The poor guy had no idea what happened so he flung me to the floor and strode off... Now I had two choices, break role and search frantically, or try to just go on. So what did I do, I carried on of course! As I stood up to go weeping back to my platform, I spy my aid lying on the floor. In a dramatic flourish, I swooped down and plucked my aid from the floor and popped it in my ear, staying in character the whole time. My own mother in the audience didn't even realise what happened! Still count that as the smoothest thing I've ever done. 

STORY 3

Lipreading is a VERY useful skill to have as a teacher. It's one of the times where my 'disability' turns into a huge ability. I always joke with my grade 8s at the beginning of the year saying they've got to be careful what they say at the back because I can see everything. Not even 5min after saying this, I'm explaining how I'll keep them in at break if they haven't done their homework and I see a girl whispering to her friend "no she wouldn't, she's just trying to scare us" and mid paragraph I whip my head round and say "yes actually I would, don't test me" only to have the whole class look at me open mouthed. I shrugged and went "it's my superpower"... one whisper from the back "cooool".